New York Reality

A follow up to my NYC visit wish list. 

1. Jump into a cab, grab the back of the driver’s seat and yell ‘follow that car and step on it!’

Cabbie’s do not like this. Nor their pictures being taken. 

2. Not buy tickets to a Broadway show and realize it was closed recently because of it’s ‘lackluster’ performance. Oops-dammit, just happened.

The closest we got to seeing a show was watching an 5 foot indian man in a club dance around like a bird. Arm flappin and all.

3. Find Ryan Gosling. Which I know will require me falling into oncoming traffic with a box of kittens and/or old ladies or starting fights with local gangstergangsta’s.

NYC seemed to have a lack in old ladies and kittens. I did see squirrels (or rats, same diff) and a basset hound. But pretty sure I saw Ryan Gosling’s best friends cousins mom.  

4. Watch someone piss in or near the subway.

Drank too much, never made it to the subway.

5.Reenact the ‘coke’ scene in GIRLS.

Karaoke in Korea Town with new friends including a gay guy until 7am. Close enough. 

6. Find a club with a really long line and cut. Because obviously, I’m on the list.

Telling the bouncer that you are your skinny friends publicists doesn’t work. 

7. See where Kevin McCallister escaped the cooky bandits in Central Park during Home Alone 2: Lost in New York City.

It rained. A lot. 

8.Eat a hotdog from a street vendor and NOT get sick.

Street vendors did not sell wine, therefore did not receive my business. 

9. Find and then piss off Amanda Bynes. Lets be honest-we are all hoping for a Britney Spears circa 2007 meltdown. And I want to be part of it.

Ugh. I ask for ONE thing from New York. ONE thing. 

10. Visit the Ghostbusters firehouse. Bill Murray, duh.

Fail. Sad face.

11. Find the famous restaurant in Seinfeld and order ‘the big salad‘.

Missed a reservation at one of Tom Collichos restaurants and got blacklisted. 

12. Buy a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s and drink cosmos with my three best friends: Miranda, Charlotte and the slutty one.

Bought a 14 dollar clutch from H&M and drank a bottle of cheap Ciante in Little Italy with slutty male waiters.


13. Not get robbed or knifed.

Success! I did get hunted down by a taco truck guy. He said I was pretty and then asked if I wanted to hang out in his windowless van. 

14. Refrain from singing New York, New York by Frank Sinatra.  Every three minutes.

New York locals roll their eyes when you are spinning in the street singing this. Whatevs. 

15. Bump into someone and say ‘hey watch it buddy’-just like in the movies.

My southern roots had me saying ‘omg, I’m so sorry’, ‘excuse me’, ‘oh no my fault’. 


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